The First Year is the Hardest
by purplecat41877
Summary: The first anniversary of Splinter's death takes place.


Disclaimer: Ninja Turtles are not mine but Chloe is. Please do not sue and no flames.

 **The First Year is the Hardest**

The nineteen year old turtles were sparring in the dojo. For some reason, Raph was being more forceful than necessary.

"What's gotten into you?" Donny asked as he and Raph were sparring against each other.

"Like you don't know," Raph replied angrily.

"What are you talking about?" Donny asked in confusion.

"Splinter's dead because of you!" Raph blurted out angrily.

"HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING?" Donny exploded. "CHLOE AND I DID OUR BEST TO SAVE HIM AND NOTHING WORKED! YOU DIDN'T SEE HIM AT HIS WORST BECAUSE I KNEW YOU COULDN'T HANDLE IT! LEO WAS THE ONLY OTHER ONE WHO KNEW BECAUSE I KNEW HE COULD HANDLE THE SITUATION! ALSO, I WANTED SPLINTER TO LIVE AS MUCH AS THE REST OF YOU BUT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN! THE PNEUMONIA WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS DEATH!"

"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LIED ABOUT SPLINTER'S CONDITION EVEN IF YOU BELIEVED THAT MIKEY AND I COULDN'T HANDLE IT!" Raph screamed.

Donny fought even harder with his bo. Just as he was about to strike, Leo stepped in between Donny and Raph who dropped their weapons.

"That's enough," Leo said firmly.

Mikey went over to Donny, put a hand on his shoulder, and gently said, "Why don't you go up to your room and I'll meet you there?"

Donny nodded in agreement and left the dojo. Mikey followed a few moments later.

* * *

Eleven year old Chloe Calls was in the living room doing math when she heard shouting and then heard someone break down completely a few moments later. Just then, Mikey was passing by the room.

"Everything all right?" Chloe asked with concern.

"Donny and Raph got into an argument," Mikey replied. "I had Donny go to his room and Leo and Raph are still in the dojo."

"What kind of argument?"

"Raph blamed Donny for Splinter's death."

"It wasn't his fault," Chloe pointed out.

"Exactly," Mikey agreed.

"You need any help?"

"I got it for now but a group grief session later might help."

"I'll see what I can do."

"You're the best."

Chloe walked over to Mikey and the two of them wrapped their arms around each other and squeezed tightly. Then they released each other and Mikey headed for the kitchen while Chloe went back to doing math.

* * *

Leo and Raph were still in the dojo. They were sparring against each other.

"Why would you say that stuff to Donny when you know how sensitive he is?" Leo demanded.

"I was angry with you," Raph admitted.

"What for?"

"Sensei never had us practice on holidays or our birthday."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Leo inquired.

"In case you forgot, Splinter died a year ago today," Raph said, his voice breaking.

Leo closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths. When he opened his eyes, Raph was facing away from him.

"I didn't forget," Leo admitted.

"Then why are we practicing on the anniversary of his death?" Raph choked out.

"I was trying to distract myself by keeping us busy with training."

"You're not the only one who lost him."

Leo put a hand on Raph's shoulder and his brother latched onto him like a life preserver. He gently wrapped his arms around Raph and felt his shoulder getting wet.

* * *

Mikey entered Donny's room carrying a tray that had a glass, a pitcher of water, a small bowl of dark chocolate candies, and a bowl filled with warm water and a washcloth. His brother was curled up on his bed with his whole body shaking and he had the floodgates in full force.

Mikey put the tray on the table, got on the bed, and wrapped his arms around Donny who returned the gesture and broke down completely again. Mikey gently rubbed his brother's shell, sat him up, and rocked him back and forth.

"Was I really responsible for Splinter's death?" Donny inquired, sounding choked up.

"Of course not," Mikey reassured his brother. "You're too nice to do something like that."

"Why would Raph blame me?"

"Maybe he's angry that Leo called a training session on the first anniversary of Sensei's death."

"That's possible."

"I wouldn't be surprised if Leo's chewing him out for it right now."

Mikey and Donny released each other several minutes later. Mikey poured some water into the glass and handed it to his brother who slowly drank it.

"Any chance I could have some of the candy?" Donny asked.

"Of course," Mikey replied, grabbing the dish and putting it on the bed.

"I really appreciate this," Donny said gratefully and then ate some of the candy.

"No problem," Mikey said.

"I never intended for Sensei to die," Donny said, his voice breaking. He carefully put the candy dish on the tray.

"I never blamed you," Mikey said, wrapping his arms around his brother who returned the gesture and broke down completely again.

Mikey gently rubbed his brother's shell and rocked him back and forth. He was glad that he brought up a pitcher of water instead of just a glass of water.

* * *

Back in the dojo, Leo and Raph were sleeping while snuggled up against each other. Just then, both of their text alerts rang and woke them up.

"What's going on?" Raph asked.

"Chloe sent a text to us asking us to meet her in the living room," Leo replied.

The two of them left the dojo and headed for the living room. When they got there, Chloe was sitting on the sofa.

"Mikey and Donny should be here soon," Chloe replied. "Then I'll let you know why I called you in here."

Leo and Raph sat down on either side of Chloe. Several moments later, Mikey and Donny entered the room. Raph jumped up and threw his arms around Donny who was surprised but returned the gesture. Raph kept apologizing over and over for hurting his younger brother's feelings earlier.

"I know you're sorry," Donny assured Raph.

"You seem so mature that I sometimes forget how sensitive you are," Raph said.

Just then, Leo turned away and buried his face in his hands. Mikey sat next to Leo and put an arm around him.

"You all right?" Mikey asked with concern.

"I miss him," Leo replied, his voice breaking.

Mikey wrapped his arms around Leo who returned the gesture and broke down completely. Mikey gently rubbed his eldest brother's shell.

Several moments later, Mikey and Leo released each other and so did Donny and Raph. Then Donny and Raph sat down next to Chloe.

"The reason I called a grief session was due to Mikey's request," Chloe explained. "Since it's the 1st anniversary of Splinter's death, we figured that each of you had something to say about how you're doing."

"It really hurt my feelings when I was blamed for Splinter's death earlier," Donny admitted. "Especially when Chloe and I did everything we could to save him."

"I was angry at Leo for holding practice on the anniversary of Sensei's death and I took it out on Donny," Raph admitted. "I'm really sorry for how I acted."

"I'm lucky that Leo stopped the two of you before someone really got hurt," Mikey admitted. "I don't want to think what could've happened if I didn't get Donny to leave when I did."

"The reason I held practice today was because I was trying to distract myself," Leo admitted. "I couldn't face the fact that Splinter died a year ago today."

"Eventually, you had to face it," Chloe pointed out. "This is not something you can forget even if you want to. I lost my parents when I was eight. There are times when I miss them and want to talk to them. The pain will never go away. However, it will be easier to deal with in time."

"Any chance my brothers and I could sleep in the shrine room tonight?" Mikey asked, referring to the room he set up in memory of Splinter.

"I believe we can arrange that," Chloe replied. "I'll take care of the air mattresses and you can go up when you're ready."

Chloe left the room and the turtles stood up and wrapped their arms around each other. They stayed in that position for a while.

* * *

Later, the turtles were in the shrine room. Leo had Mikey follow him to the corner.

"Everything all right?" Mikey asked with concern.

"I wanted to let you know how proud I've been of you," Leo admitted.

"How?"

"You were Donny's rock today and mine too. You really matured a lot since Splinter's death."

"I can't stand to see any of my brothers upset."

"We each feel the same way."

Mikey and Leo wrapped their arms around each other and squeezed tightly. Then they released each other.

"We should get to bed so we'll be able to focus in practice tomorrow," Mikey suggested.

"Speaking of which, I'm giving us two weeks off as an apology for holding practice on the anniversary of Sensei's death," Leo declared.

"Either way, I could use some sleep," Raph said.

"Then let's get the air mattress set up," Donny suggested.

The turtles blew up the air mattress and put some blankets on it. Then they laid down on it and covered themselves with a large blanket.

"Sorry again, Donny, for hurting your feelings earlier," Raph apologized.

"I forgive you, Raph," Donny said with a smile.

The turtles snuggled up together. Eventually, they drifted off to sleep.

The End


End file.
